Working through FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real)
As I move closer towards a big transition in my life, I’m getting really clear on how scared sh*tless I feel. I’m experiencing what I’ve seen so many others experience. We want for so long. We begin to receive. We immediately question our worthiness and abilities. We might even unknowingly sabotage.
Of course it’s all in my head. All of it. False Evidence Appearing Real. What if I fail? I’m not smart enough? Good enough? Strong enough? (Feel free insert your own negative thought).
What we think we create. What we feel we attract. Think you fail and you will. Knowing that increases my level of fear at moments. 😉 It’s an extra weapon to use against myself when I’m down in the dumps and my mind is stuck in a loop of negative thoughts.
I can’t be letting this get the best of me! I know better than this! But it is.
A breakthrough came the other day on the phone with one of my teachers. Words I already knew, repeated to me at the exact time I needed to hear them. She called me out on using the word “try.” Try is a disempowering word. (It was actually banned from use during my coach-training program.) It’s fear based and oozes lack.
In victim mode on the phone, I said something like “….I’m trying….” Her response? Put your hand over your solar plexus (upper stomach area) and say, “I’m trying.” I did. It felt crappy. I felt anxious and at the mercy of some unknown circumstances. Disempowering.
Next she said, keep your hand there and say, “I am working on it.” Bam! I felt an immediate energy shift. I felt empowered…in progress…on the way…headed down the right path. I felt possible. “Working on” is more empowering. So is “I am.” I am implies you already are. It’s already happened.
Interestingly, our solar plexus is our power center, home to our self-worth. Of course I felt weakened when I used disempowering language as I connected with that energy center! Our solar plexus is also home to our ego, which wants us to stay small. It wants to convince us we are not good enough. Not worthy. It uses our irrational thoughts as evidence of our lack of worth.
After that breakthrough, I got clear that my fear around this change in my life wasn’t going to be 100% worked through in one day, like some others have been. In addition to the reminder that our words affect us, here are some other realizations/practices that have been helping…
I realized that it’s how I respond to my FEAR that matters. When FEAR appears, I apply learning from A Course in Miracles. If it doesn’t come from love, it isn’t real. It’s just an illusion. This stuff in my head isn’t real. They’re just some crazy thoughts floating around. Doing this helps strip power from the thought.
I realized the power of possibility. Just asking, “what’s possible?” shifts my energy. The truth? Anything is possible.
I realized clarity is inside of me, if I give it space to emerge. It’s our ability to quiet our mind that leads to our truth. But when the FEAR crisis appears, I usually have the urge to outside for the answer. The answer is inside. How empowering is that?
I realized when I get into FEAR mode, I begin to think the weight of the world is on my shoulders. Terrifying. Then I eventually remember the universe, God, Angels (whatever you believe in), is much stronger, loving and more giving than we are to ourselves. They are here to help if we simply ask. And it doesn’t matter how large or small our request is. Just because your problem isn’t the biggest one in the world, doesn’t mean you can’t ask for help. They’re waiting for you to ask.
I realized that when I look at everything as a lesson I become curious, which lessens the power of FEAR. I channeled this message for a client last week: your pain becomes your lesson, which becomes your teaching. Maybe you are experiencing this FEAR to help someone else someday.
I realized that self-care is paramount in times of FEAR. This week I’m loading my body with juices and salads. No sugars or processed foods that would bring my vibration down. I’m running my high vibrational oils day and night. Getting fresh air. And of course, using a blend of energy work on myself (tapping, meditation, reiki, PSYCH-K) and journaling.
These are the tools that work for me, but yours may be different. Maybe you want to explore trying something I mentioned, and if so, try one at a time so you don’t create additional pressure. Or, fall back on proven techniques that have helped you in the past. There’s no right or wrong. It’s about finding what’s right for your system and circumstance.
Molly Hamill, MA, is a certified life coach, Kundalini yogini and mediation enthusiast. She works with people around the country helping them lose their stress and feel their best. After recovering from her own health journey (Hashimoto's Hypothyroiditis, Adrenal Fatigue, and Leaky Gut), she is especially passionate about helping others establish mindsets and habits that support their health and happiness. For more information about Molly, get her weekly emails (sign up in green bar below), follow her on her Instagram and Facebook page, or chat with her in her private Facebook group, where she posts daily to help keep you connected with truth, dreams and desires. Prior to breaking free of the 9-5 life, she was an award-winning human resources executive for a national healthcare company.